Explain
by ilfreitas
Summary: Remus explains to Harry and Sirius part of what happened to him during the Lost Years and why couldn't he raise Harry. SiriusxRemus One-Shot


**Disclaimer:**** Remus married Tonks in the books. So obviously the books are not mine.**

AN: VOTE ON MY GAME _Pairings You Never Thought Of_ Oh, and on my poll! :D

**Explain **

There was a knock on the door.

"Your carriage is at the gates, Remus." Dumbledore said.

"Thank you, Headmaster. Could you... could you give us a moment before I leave?"

"Certainly." Dumbledore closed the door behind him.

"Harry," Remus turned to him again "you're mad at me, aren't you?"

"What? Because you're leaving? No, of course not!"

Remus smiled "No, because... well, didn't you wonder why I didn't raise you instead of your uncles?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

"And you're not mad? I heard a lot of bad things about them. Merlin, I know a lot of bad things about them, I met your aunt and uncle a few times in the past."

"You did?" Harry asked surprised. It wasn't everyday he heard his uncles met not only a wizard, but a werewolf too.

"Oh, yes. Through your mother. I don't expect them to have good memories, I always met them with Sirius there too, he must have traumatised them..." he smiled at some memory "But, Harry, I want to explain, I want you to know why I didn't take you in."

"Okay..."

"Have a seat." Remus sat too "You probably don't know this, but I am your unofficial godfather. We had decided that Sirius would be the official of Lily and James's first kid and I would be the second. But by all effects I would be yours too.

You see what I mean? With two godfathers, and yet you had to spent your whole life with your uncles. I'm sorry."

"I'm sure there's a reason..."

"Yes, there is. Let me tell you what happened. I...I was living with Sirius by the time James and Lily died. I just woke up in the morning after and Sirius wasn't there. So I Apparated at your home and saw the wreckage... I went to Dumbledore but on my way I was arrested by Aurors."

"What? Why..?

"You see, James, Sirius, Peter and me were known as the Marauders at Hogwarts. We were four. Always was. So why would I be the only one who escaped? They knew I am a werewolf and thought that I had been a spy with Sirius. That we both sold out your parents. To me it was perfectly obvious why Sirius hadn't killed me. He knew I would be alone. My parents died shortly before, the Marauders were my friends, the ones I would die for and the ones who helped me every full moon.

Dumbledore convinced them I was innocent. He told me Sirius was the spy and that he killed Peter after betraying James and Lily. ..I didn't believe in it. Sirius would never do that, my Sirius..." he stopped "But Dumbledore insisted, said he had suspicions for a while and there was so many witness of him killing Wormtail... Besides, it was Dumbledore who told me that. As I told you yesterday, I have great respect for Dumbledore, he gave me education, a chance to be normal and even now he gave me a job-"

"Which you no longer have." Harry muttered.

"Yes, but I returned here for a year and had a chance to meet you. And I also know now that Sirius is innocent... you have no idea what it means to me.

After that I fell into a depression. I lost everything that was important to me and even more. I didn't have a job. People don't hire werewolves and doesn't take too long to find out. They usually don't pay me after that and I have to look out for another thing.

I asked Dumbledore to let me have you, that I would raise you. You were all that was left of everything I loved. ...I have to say you were an adorable baby, Harry. Always smiling. I used to read you bedtime stories and Sirius and I usually took you to the park before you and your parents were forced to hide. But Dumbledore didn't let me take you with me."

"What? Why didn't he?"

"Well, Harry, I think it's pretty obvious. I was a depressed, homeless werewolf. I couldn't even pay food or a bed for myself, how could I also do it for you?" Remus smiled "But, he also didn't let me see you. He said you had to be hidden from the wizarding world as much as possible, especially if any Death Eater still wanted to kill you. I suppose I could be followed or end up showing you around some magical place in which you could have been seen."

"Oh...I see." The thirteen year old boy said.

"You do understand, right? Why couldn't I? Still can't?" Remus insisted eagerly.

"Still? Why still?"

"Well, I'm kind of homeless again now. Yeah...so, I have to go, the carriage is waiting for me. Feel free to write me anytime, Harry." Remus hesitated and then hugged him "See you around, kido. Owl me, alright? I want to hear from you, if you don't mind." He let Harry go with a smile.

"I'd love to." Harry beamed. Now he had two more people to who he could write. Harry waved and left the office.

Remus closed a bag and sighed after Harry closing the door.

"I know you're here, Sirius. You can come out now, if you want."

"What gave me away?" Sirius sat on the chair Harry was in before.

"I just know you, Padfoot." Remus sat too "Weren't you supposed to be flying on a hippogriff's backs to some exotic place?"

"I couldn't just leave after finally see you again. Especially without knowing what happened to you."

"You heard when I told Harry."

"Yeah, but unlike him I have some questions, Professor."

"You can ask." Remus chucked.

"Did you get over the whole homeless depressed werewolf?"

"Well, I'm still a werewolf, in case you haven't noticed last night" both smiled "I'm homeless again now, so yes, still homeless. But...today I can say I'm not depressed anymore."

"Always had a way with words, hadn't you, Moony? You know I was asking about this past years. You didn't live on the streets, did you?"

"From time to time. I worked on the muggle world. McDonald is such a character builder, you have no idea. Most of my savings went to rent a place to transform, so..."

"Did you date anyone?"

"I knew you were going to ask that, Pads. No, I didn't. I couldn't trust in anyone, not after what happened...Besides, I couldn't afford it."

"Moony?" Sirius asked timidly.

"What is it, Padfoot?"

"Did you miss me?" he made puppy eyes.

"As much as I hope you missed me too, Sirius."

"I did. I do. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

They looked at each other.

"Can I kiss you?"

"I'm surprised, Padfoot, since when do you ask?"

"I guess you're right. I just feel like we're doing this from the beginning again..."

"I know. So, are you going to do it or not?"

"Now I don't know...you don't sound like you want it that much..." Sirius smirked "And when you were talking to Harry I was expecting for you to declare your undying love for him..."

"I had to contain myself. I do love him, just like you do. He's family."

"Our nephew."

"Yes, our."

"Did you hear me when I asked Harry to move with me as soon as I'm free?"

"You know I did, everyone did."

"You can come too, if you want."

"Second time we meet in twelve years and you're already asking me to move in with you? Isn't there something you must do first?"

Sirius got up, walked to Remus, grabbed his face and kissed him.

"You still taste like chocolate." He smiled.

"Funny, you taste like you could give a toothbrush good use."

* * *

**In case you haven't noticed this happens in POA, when Remus returns the Map and the Cloak to Harry. **

** I was torn between chosing to put rhe characters Remus L./Harry P. or Remus L./Sirius Black. I ended up putting Sirius, but what do you think?**


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